The Ultimate Adult Indie Game: Porn Bastards Sex Games 🔥

Feel free to use all caps and colorful language in this imaginary (fictional!) rant:

OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO PLAY THIS AMAZING ADULT INDIE GAME WHERE THE THEME OF "PORN BASTARDS SEX GAMES" IS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS I COUGHED UP MY EMPTY BEER BOTTLE WHEN I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON!

I mean seriously, who the hell names their goddamn porn game something like that?! But when you actually start playing it... holy shit balls, Batman, does it deliver! The storyline is fucked up beyond belief: You play as some lowly peasant girl who somehow manages to catch the eye of the king's most depraved chamberlain - also known as the "Porn Bastard." And guess what his favorite pastime is? That's right: DEVIANT HARDCORE SEX GAMES!

But don't think this is just some cheap smut fest; no sirree, my perverted friends. The graphics are top-notch, the voice acting is award-winning, and the soundtrack could easily be mistaken for a symphony composed by Beethoven after snorting lines of coke off a dead hooker's ass! Seriously, guys, this shit blows most mainstream triple-A titles out of the water!

So what are you waiting for? Go download Porn Bastards Sex Games right now! Just make sure you finish your dinner first 'cause once you start playing, nothing will ever taste the same again!